And for the sin which we have committed before You

by hard-heartedness...

Before I knew God, I was alone in a hard, merciless world. I thought that meant I had to “be hard” to get by. Mercy seemed a fine theory, but my few attempts to practice it were dismal failures that hurt me, so I stopped trying. I justified it by telling myself I was just doing what I had to do to get by, but I was really closing off my heart.

I hurt others, not through overt acts of malice, but by refusing them the grace, mercy, and love that God wanted to show them through me. I also refused the Father's invitation to spend time with Him, instead choosing to harden my heart to the brink of spiritual death for fear that I would be hurt. I was so worried that I wouldn't get what I needed to be ok that I turned my back on God's freely given love, not realizing that without that nothing would ever be enough. I broke the two greatest commandments, and as a result almost lost everything, ironically, by trying to protect everything.

Yeshua taught me that one of the ways I can show love for God is by accepting His love! When I do, my heart softens, and I want to pass it on freely, not hoard or hide. He doesn't need me in order to do His works, but He lets me play a role in the miracle of His love. I’m like a child going to play with their siblings every day that I'm willing!