Al Chet

Elul 7

And for the sin which we have committed before You

by hard-heartedness...

Before I knew God, I was alone in a hard, merciless world. I thought that meant I had to “be hard” to get by. Mercy seemed a fine theory, but my few attempts to practice it were dismal failures that hurt me, so I stopped trying. I justified it by telling myself I was just doing what I had to do to get by, but I was really closing off my heart.

I hurt others, not through overt acts of malice, but by refusing them the grace, mercy, and love that God wanted to show them through me. I also refused the Father's invitation to spend time with Him, instead choosing to harden my heart to the brink of spiritual death for fear that I would be hurt. I was so worried that I wouldn't get what I needed to be ok that I turned my back on God's freely given love, not realizing that without that nothing would ever be enough. I broke the two greatest commandments, and as a result almost lost everything, ironically, by trying to protect everything.

Yeshua taught me that one of the ways I can show love for God is by accepting His love! When I do, my heart softens, and I want to pass it on freely, not hoard or hide. He doesn't need me in order to do His works, but He lets me play a role in the miracle of His love. I’m like a child going to play with their siblings every day that I'm willing! 

Abba father, I come to you as your child. Show me where I have allowed fear or pain to harden my heart to you. I yield those areas of my life to you, trusting your love for me, repenting of the hardness I have allowed to manifest. Today I accept your invitation to “go play in the miracle of your love.” I ask you to make it clear to me what you want to do today. Thank you that the invitation to move with you is for every day and every place in which you would have me go.