Al Chet

Elul 13

 And for the sin which we have committed before You

by a begrudging eye.

 

O Father, as I consider my sins in the light of the abundance You have provided me, I am ashamed of the covetousness and avarice within me. My heart mourns at the darkness within as I look upon another with greed and self-pity.

 

You and You alone have been faithful to me since the days of my youth. You gave me a heart to see Your hand in my life. You have brought me through victory and defeat. You have lifted me up from the pit of my sins. You saw me in my rebellion from Your ways as I sought after the seductions of the world, which I had believed to be delights You had denied me. O the depth of my ingratitude because I knew You and was known by You!

 

I sought that which You had denied me. Like the prodigal son I ran for my inheritance in the things of the world. As I ran from You to grab that which I believed to be my rightful possessions, I found emptiness and aimlessness. But You in Your mercy pulled me back and caused me to run home. You have proven to me the abundance of Your storehouse for those who wait on You.

 

O Lord, keep my eyes and desires fixed upon You. Let me never again believe I am worthy of anything but that which You have provided.   

 

Gracious Abba, reveal my inner longings that are not of You, of the places where I feel that I know better than You. Search me and cleanse me. I choose to place You as the focus of my gaze, and I will let you determine what is “added to me.” (Matthew 6:33)